I'm moving soon.
Saturday.
Along with some friends who will be helping with the transition, anxiety seems to want to be my new (unwelcome) best friend. Please pray for me. I've been having some anxiety that is making for a unfocused day at work, a hard time breathing, and a desire to sleep everything away.
Matt and I know this is the right decision...but it's also hard, so please pray.
Thanks.
Thursday, May 14
Thursday, May 7
Busy Bee
Since Matt went to Alaska I've barely had enough time to cook toast. I have been really busy, packing and sorting and planning and scrubbing. Tonight, I'll scrub again. The place I'm moving into needs a lot of TLC. A lot. I'm pretty sure it hadn't been really clean since they built it as an addition to the already large split level home- so I'll clean until it sparkles, then Saturday, I'll make it gleam and shine with new pretty paint.
I think a lot of people wonder why I would put so much effort into a room that I may only live in for six months; in a house that will some day be demolished. For me, I think it can be broken down into four principle reasons; rest, peace, beauty, and worship.
I want the confortable, warm feeling of my home (whether it is a small room or a ten bedroom house) to convey the feeling that I and my guests know they are cared for; I want it to say kick your shoes off and rest. Peace, is a bi-product of this, and for me, working full time, my home needs to provide a sense of peace. A place I come to and wind down. Also, painting a room and making it shine adds value, and I believe, evokes respect. Finally, for me, when I am caring for my home, and re-decorating from the inside out, I believe I am worshiping God for his provision; being a good steward of the gift of living in Seattle for only a few hundred dollars a month.
I will post before and after pictures.
And, if anyone wants to help paint- call me - the painting party is on Saturday.
I think a lot of people wonder why I would put so much effort into a room that I may only live in for six months; in a house that will some day be demolished. For me, I think it can be broken down into four principle reasons; rest, peace, beauty, and worship.
I want the confortable, warm feeling of my home (whether it is a small room or a ten bedroom house) to convey the feeling that I and my guests know they are cared for; I want it to say kick your shoes off and rest. Peace, is a bi-product of this, and for me, working full time, my home needs to provide a sense of peace. A place I come to and wind down. Also, painting a room and making it shine adds value, and I believe, evokes respect. Finally, for me, when I am caring for my home, and re-decorating from the inside out, I believe I am worshiping God for his provision; being a good steward of the gift of living in Seattle for only a few hundred dollars a month.
I will post before and after pictures.
And, if anyone wants to help paint- call me - the painting party is on Saturday.
Tuesday, April 28
Us and the Lil' Naked Purple Guy
I'm sitting at the desk blogging when I really should be cleaning out the fridge, doing the dishes and getting laundry completed.
The last few months have been pretty challenging- financially, emotionally, and spiritually. Matt and I have been trying to figure out how to crunch our buget without crunching our relationship and ruining dreams. Its been tough; like arm wrestling an opponent who's strength is your equal, who you feel will ultimately take you down. Defeat has not yet surface on our side of the match and because of that I am thankful.
About two weeks ago Matt and I made a big, bold decision. We decided to move. Matt would be moving to Alaska and I would be moving to a new place in Seattle. This move is almost purely financial. A friend of mine often says, "Time is money." While, I'm not sure I completely agree with this philosophy, I hope it rings true for the next five months of our time apart.
So here we are. Apart. I'm sitting in a half-packed house, and Matt's up in Alaska waiting for work to start.
To Matt: Love you honey. Thanks for sticking your neck out there and going north, alone as your prepare to take the step into the world of acedemics.
AND...my favorite picture of late...
Saturday, April 25
Monday, April 13
Me
I think I'm tired of not being an artist, and not feeling free in life to be just who I am, free in Christ and made in the image of the Creator.
I love...
...and I miss these things.
I love...
Moving
Imagination
Observing
Nature
Dancing
Flexibility
Organizing
Patterns
Life
Laughing
Family
Friends
Food
Singing
Textures
Home
Color
Thinking
Cooking
Plants
Reading
Learning
Teaching
Dreaming
Strength
Stretching
Resting
...and I miss these things.
Friday, March 20
Work
I've been thinking a lot about work. Everyone works. Marriage takes work. Some people are lazy and don't work, while other can't find work. To be healthy we need to work out. We work to play, and in our society to get enough time to play you often need to work to get there. No matter how its phrased, work seems like a four letter word.
My own experiances with employment (a form of 'work') have generally been difficult. I've been faced with challenging jobs; like daily filling a truck with 2" x 4" lumber, alone. I once drove a brand new ($500,000+) bus in the middle of the night, on a slick mud road for 90 kilometers, hoping I'd make it to my desination on time and in one piece. I've dealt with difficult people who want to lay hands on me and pray for my demons while at work, and bosses who have tried getting my approval to practice unethical buisness. I've had managers dehumanize me and co-workers scream and swear at me. Plus, in this economy just staying employed is tough.
I've also done physical work. As far back as I can remember I helped around the house- doing our household laundry, cleaning the house, and working in the garden with my mom and older sisters- our quarter acre garden! Working out has always been a challenge to me, and at some points in my life an impossibility- but that was more what I thought about myself, then what was real.
So what is real? As I think about it, I think work actually really means: persistance, patience, integrity, intelligence, strength, service, perseverance, wisdom, and worship. I think really, work is a gift. I'm sure it doesn't come naturally to me, and I'll be the first to vouch for my illhearted attempts at convincing myself, family, friends and employers that I always work well. For me, work becomes a good word when I realize that I am only here because of God's love. Thinking about it, really thinking about my depravity and redemption is humbling.
I think only the most humble people actually understand work. I think a lot about my Papa and my sweet Mum. When we were children they both worked, opposite shifts. They grew a big garden to feed us, and Papa spent hours sorting metal to sell as scrap just to make ends meet. Meanwhile, our mom worked almost 30 years in retail to care for us. Fall, Winter and Spring you'd often find Papa looking for free wood all over the city, just to keep us warm- they've worked harder than any two people I've met, yet I've NEVER heard either of them complain. I never heard them feel bad for themselves, wishing they had a better life, or were trained in something different.
The key, was that whatever work they were given to do, they did it joyfully, with gratitude.
If its working out, working to pay the bills, working out plans, or working toward a goal. Gratitude, giving thanks to God is key.
My own experiances with employment (a form of 'work') have generally been difficult. I've been faced with challenging jobs; like daily filling a truck with 2" x 4" lumber, alone. I once drove a brand new ($500,000+) bus in the middle of the night, on a slick mud road for 90 kilometers, hoping I'd make it to my desination on time and in one piece. I've dealt with difficult people who want to lay hands on me and pray for my demons while at work, and bosses who have tried getting my approval to practice unethical buisness. I've had managers dehumanize me and co-workers scream and swear at me. Plus, in this economy just staying employed is tough.
I've also done physical work. As far back as I can remember I helped around the house- doing our household laundry, cleaning the house, and working in the garden with my mom and older sisters- our quarter acre garden! Working out has always been a challenge to me, and at some points in my life an impossibility- but that was more what I thought about myself, then what was real.
So what is real? As I think about it, I think work actually really means: persistance, patience, integrity, intelligence, strength, service, perseverance, wisdom, and worship. I think really, work is a gift. I'm sure it doesn't come naturally to me, and I'll be the first to vouch for my illhearted attempts at convincing myself, family, friends and employers that I always work well. For me, work becomes a good word when I realize that I am only here because of God's love. Thinking about it, really thinking about my depravity and redemption is humbling.
I think only the most humble people actually understand work. I think a lot about my Papa and my sweet Mum. When we were children they both worked, opposite shifts. They grew a big garden to feed us, and Papa spent hours sorting metal to sell as scrap just to make ends meet. Meanwhile, our mom worked almost 30 years in retail to care for us. Fall, Winter and Spring you'd often find Papa looking for free wood all over the city, just to keep us warm- they've worked harder than any two people I've met, yet I've NEVER heard either of them complain. I never heard them feel bad for themselves, wishing they had a better life, or were trained in something different.
The key, was that whatever work they were given to do, they did it joyfully, with gratitude.
If its working out, working to pay the bills, working out plans, or working toward a goal. Gratitude, giving thanks to God is key.
Monday, March 9
Laser Vision
Another breaking news story hits the O Blog!Talk about musical chairs. With the this family, its musical jobs. That's right folks, Jessica started her job last week, but, that's not all!
To celebrate, her husband's employer gave him the layoff boot- Congratulations Matthew! Now its time for you to velcroe those babies and hit the pavement.
Meanwhile, for extra income Jessica is working for a company that specilizes in zapping bugs with human laser vision. The truth comes out, she is a mutant afterall.
Thursday, February 26
My Recipe
So...I like making food, and I'm going to start posting something each Friday. You know, Friday, food day. But, I needed to share this with you while the memory of its savory flavours still linger.
Today, I was amazed at myself. I came up with my own recipe for turkey burgers. Until the third bite I hadn't realized what a gem I'd come across. Its a Turkey Parmesan Burger. Wonderful and wonderfully simple.
Here is the ROUGH recipe.
1 lb ground turkey thawed
1/2 finely chopped medium onion (or more if you like0
1 garlic clove, minced
1 tbsp parsley
1 tbsp oregano
1/2 cup breadcrumbs ( i believe mine are whole wheat)
1 can diced tomatoes with oregano basil and thyme
Parmesan cheese
Slice of bread
Salt and pepper
1. Mix first 6 ingrediants plus salt and pepper (probably 1/4-1/2 tsp salt and whatever looks good for pepper on your side) and cook like a burger (or broil in the oven). While you are cooking add a bit more salt and pepper.
2. Pop open the tomatoes and get them simmering (keep it on low while you do the rest)
3. While their simmering and the patties are cooking a toast a slice whole wheat bread (1 per pattie)
4. After the toast has jumped, the pattie is done and hte tomatoes have finished getting warm stack'um together and make a toast, tomato sauce, turkey burger, tomatoes, parmesan sandwhich.
5. Eat and enjoy.
Monday, February 16
Crossroads
I have two weeks of vacation.
Well, not really. I have two more weeks of unemployment before I start my new job. That's right, I interviewed last week for a position as customer service rep to a company near my home that exterminates unwanted creatures like bugs, rodents and birds, and they offered me the job. I start the first week of March. They are paying me well and I'm also going to have the opportunity to help them re-organize some of their internal business structure, which was the part of my last position I really enjoyed.
Unemployment has given me time to think about what I want and desire versus what might be coming my way. What I mean is that I have a specific ideal of what life looks like based on my culture, my upbringing, and my preferences. When my life begins to look different than this, or the arrow starts turning in the opposite direction, my throat closes up and I want to scream and throw things. With the help of my dear friends and family and Christ, I am beginning to realize that the plans God has for me look much different then my own imagination can conjure.
However, I still find myself at a crossroad. Recently, Matt and I received permission to move into his family's cabin in the fall, which means another big change (it’s in a different city). The pros include lower housing fees, and smaller school expenses. Plus, my Mom will be in the same city; studying as well (I’ll save that story for a different entry), and one of my sister’s and her son live there. The cons mean moving away from Seattle, where I'm finally feeling like I belong, and moving away from our group at church. It likely means putting off plans for starting a family, and waiting as Matt gains education with the hope that, through it, he'll be able to make enough money for us to live on, and we can start pursuing other things, like where we want to settle, starting a family, etc.
Where does that leave me? Patience, I'm realizing, is not my best virtue. Perhaps my degree in theatre helps make me look like a patient person, but under it all I'm not. I want things done and I want them done now! I have a great work ethic and can see what needs to be done, but because I’m not the one going to school, I’ll be waiting. And as mentioned before, patience is not my best virtue.
Which, thankfully, brings me to another thought- just because I will not be going to school, doesn’t mean there isn’t something for me. So, I’m also asking God to show me what he wants for me. If Matt goes to school, and finds an area of work that he wants to pursue, what should I be pursuing at the same time? Should I begin pursing theatre, or becoming a self-employed event planner? Maybe, I should fulfill my dream, and become a Pilates instructor. At this point, however, I think I’m done just heading toward stuff because I’m a determined person and by gum I know I can do it, and instead really praying and asking God for peace and confirmation and the right doors to open to show me where to go.
I know that God does give me choice, but I’m too good at making choices based on what I think is the right thing, instead of double checking that it is something both God and I agree on.
For instance, in my last job, I put way too much stock in the respect of my co-workers and my own reliability, instead of being ok pursuing something that incorporates creativity and beauty- two things that I love. In my life, I often put too much weight on my own capability to be responsible and get things ‘right’ the first time. I often haven’t stopped enough to rest and just be, to enjoy life. I’m praying that, through all the choices Matt and I are making, God will help me, guide me toward being who I am; A redeemed daughter, a princess, a bride. So that, no matter where I am geographically, or in what situations I find myself, I can be myself; a free, beautiful creation, loved and adored by the creator of the universe. To live as a woman that is capable of creating, teaching, and making beauty, and who isn’t afraid to experience the beauty and pain that is part of living in this world; a woman who sees eternity and who experiences the moment.
Well, not really. I have two more weeks of unemployment before I start my new job. That's right, I interviewed last week for a position as customer service rep to a company near my home that exterminates unwanted creatures like bugs, rodents and birds, and they offered me the job. I start the first week of March. They are paying me well and I'm also going to have the opportunity to help them re-organize some of their internal business structure, which was the part of my last position I really enjoyed.
Unemployment has given me time to think about what I want and desire versus what might be coming my way. What I mean is that I have a specific ideal of what life looks like based on my culture, my upbringing, and my preferences. When my life begins to look different than this, or the arrow starts turning in the opposite direction, my throat closes up and I want to scream and throw things. With the help of my dear friends and family and Christ, I am beginning to realize that the plans God has for me look much different then my own imagination can conjure.
However, I still find myself at a crossroad. Recently, Matt and I received permission to move into his family's cabin in the fall, which means another big change (it’s in a different city). The pros include lower housing fees, and smaller school expenses. Plus, my Mom will be in the same city; studying as well (I’ll save that story for a different entry), and one of my sister’s and her son live there. The cons mean moving away from Seattle, where I'm finally feeling like I belong, and moving away from our group at church. It likely means putting off plans for starting a family, and waiting as Matt gains education with the hope that, through it, he'll be able to make enough money for us to live on, and we can start pursuing other things, like where we want to settle, starting a family, etc.
Where does that leave me? Patience, I'm realizing, is not my best virtue. Perhaps my degree in theatre helps make me look like a patient person, but under it all I'm not. I want things done and I want them done now! I have a great work ethic and can see what needs to be done, but because I’m not the one going to school, I’ll be waiting. And as mentioned before, patience is not my best virtue.
Which, thankfully, brings me to another thought- just because I will not be going to school, doesn’t mean there isn’t something for me. So, I’m also asking God to show me what he wants for me. If Matt goes to school, and finds an area of work that he wants to pursue, what should I be pursuing at the same time? Should I begin pursing theatre, or becoming a self-employed event planner? Maybe, I should fulfill my dream, and become a Pilates instructor. At this point, however, I think I’m done just heading toward stuff because I’m a determined person and by gum I know I can do it, and instead really praying and asking God for peace and confirmation and the right doors to open to show me where to go.
I know that God does give me choice, but I’m too good at making choices based on what I think is the right thing, instead of double checking that it is something both God and I agree on.
For instance, in my last job, I put way too much stock in the respect of my co-workers and my own reliability, instead of being ok pursuing something that incorporates creativity and beauty- two things that I love. In my life, I often put too much weight on my own capability to be responsible and get things ‘right’ the first time. I often haven’t stopped enough to rest and just be, to enjoy life. I’m praying that, through all the choices Matt and I are making, God will help me, guide me toward being who I am; A redeemed daughter, a princess, a bride. So that, no matter where I am geographically, or in what situations I find myself, I can be myself; a free, beautiful creation, loved and adored by the creator of the universe. To live as a woman that is capable of creating, teaching, and making beauty, and who isn’t afraid to experience the beauty and pain that is part of living in this world; a woman who sees eternity and who experiences the moment.
Wednesday, January 14
Prayer Requests
Today I am at Mom's trying my best to be a good nurse. With the stress of loosing Papa and the inevitable of living on her own for the first time my dear Mum has been attacked with the recurrence of Herpes Zoster, a strand of Chickenpox known as Shingles.
If you've ever had Chickenpox you have the potential to have Shingles. Generally speaking, the chickenpox virus goes dormant and may never reappear, however, 1 of 10 people who've had chickenpox will have Shingles. The virus is thought to 'sleep' within the nervous system. When it attacks the nervous system in the form of Shingles the virus moves from its core, via the nerves, to the skin creating a large painful rash that can be felt to the core of the person. There is a rash, but there is much more going on inside the body. It is painful and can last for up to 5 weeks (or longer...but that's a different diagnosis and we're not there yet). Mom broke out about 1.5 weeks ago with the rash.
Right now she is sleeping- that's about all she has energy to do. She's nauseous, tired, has hot and cold sweats and generally in a LOT of pain, so please, please pray for her. In my 28+ years I have never seen my mom so disabled from normal life- which for her is all about being on the move. I know she needs rest, so I'm encouraging as much sleep as possible, but also pray that she will be able to eat. Food tastes pretty terrible to her, but she needs it to get healthy.
The good news is that for most people shingles does go away and doesn't cause life long problems, its just really puts a damper on life anywhere from three to five weeks. So please pray for her.
Additionally, I and Matt really need prayer. I'm out of work as most of you know and I'm feeling that I'm at a crossroads. Pray for us and our future, the- what, where, when, how. All these questions we're trying to figure out. So please, pray if you can, on our behalf.
I'm going to take a walk now. Mum is sleeping and I'm feeling a little lethargic.
Peace.
If you've ever had Chickenpox you have the potential to have Shingles. Generally speaking, the chickenpox virus goes dormant and may never reappear, however, 1 of 10 people who've had chickenpox will have Shingles. The virus is thought to 'sleep' within the nervous system. When it attacks the nervous system in the form of Shingles the virus moves from its core, via the nerves, to the skin creating a large painful rash that can be felt to the core of the person. There is a rash, but there is much more going on inside the body. It is painful and can last for up to 5 weeks (or longer...but that's a different diagnosis and we're not there yet). Mom broke out about 1.5 weeks ago with the rash.
Right now she is sleeping- that's about all she has energy to do. She's nauseous, tired, has hot and cold sweats and generally in a LOT of pain, so please, please pray for her. In my 28+ years I have never seen my mom so disabled from normal life- which for her is all about being on the move. I know she needs rest, so I'm encouraging as much sleep as possible, but also pray that she will be able to eat. Food tastes pretty terrible to her, but she needs it to get healthy.
The good news is that for most people shingles does go away and doesn't cause life long problems, its just really puts a damper on life anywhere from three to five weeks. So please pray for her.
Additionally, I and Matt really need prayer. I'm out of work as most of you know and I'm feeling that I'm at a crossroads. Pray for us and our future, the- what, where, when, how. All these questions we're trying to figure out. So please, pray if you can, on our behalf.
I'm going to take a walk now. Mum is sleeping and I'm feeling a little lethargic.
Peace.
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