This is a quick post without much thought to grammer, punctuatioin, etc.
We just finished our 30th (that's approx.) event at Crystal Cove and I'm finally okay with saying that I like this gig. I would never want say it to anyone when we started, but I was almost certain I wouldn't really like doing this. But, I've starting looking forward events, they are fun and interactive and use the other more low-key, and often creative side of my brain! Plus, I've gotten to know quite a few people now. Today, I felt myself getting excited as I finished up work and drove home, and felt even more happy as I got ready for the event. Just looking forward to seeing people eating my soup and having fun. I'm glad we're doing this - even if it means I walk and take the bus to work, and even if it means it feels like we are professional time jugglers. Matt and I both desire to be debt free and we just a need a few more months, and anyway, I'm really loving my walks to work, rain or shine.
I guess the next question in the fuzz of it all is, why in the heck did we decide to do lent this year!? taking sugar, my staple food addiction and throwing it out feels like throwing out a baby - I mean food addiction - with the bathwater. It has been going okay, besides when I see anything sweet, even a picture my mouth starts watering. I'm keeping oranges and apples close by - these are my friends. But a tip - don't over Agave your coffee to death - not yummy. (Oh...umm...i'm not supposed to talk about fasting - so that's all you get of that - I'm going to go put some ash on my face now!)
I've found myself really, really overly critical of what I do. For instance, I felt horrible today with the anticlimatic prize winning that we didn't even have on hand- how dumb did I feel. Well, really dumb, I felt like everyone was giving me a pie-in-the-face-that-has-rocks-in-the-bottom-look. Realistically, they they probably weren't, but inside that's how I feel. This is a great example of my feelings of inadequacy lately - which has been flowing in my work, my play and in CNW.
I read God's word which brings my anxiety level to a simmer - right now that's all i feel I can muster - so that's where I am.
Oh, and Happy St. Patrick's day, and goodnight!