Wednesday, August 4

Up From Here...?

This is my 100th post, not bad for 2+ years, not good either though. I'm hoping with the changes that are fastly approaching the forground of my life I'll have more opportunity to write and divulge within this online platform.

Right now, there is so much on my mind- from preparing to go to New Zealand at the end of August, my job ending also at the end of August, looking for a new job and seeking a place to live (both my husband and I are out of work), while at the same time hoping that the job I find is part time so I can devote more of my time to creativity, meals, budgeting, caring for the home and caring for my relationship with others, God and just caring for myself. Meanwhile, my husband has to make enough to bear the financial burden while we also scale back on our own cost of living- so many changes and so much hinging the choices we make.

All of those big things and I'm fighting a weird bacterial infection (I have a hard time talking about my physical ailments - I think primarily because that makes me feel sooooo FREAKING OLD!) In the last year I've had three identical rashes on my neck, talked with the dermatologist, they did a test and yep, some kind of funky bacteria. So I'm faithfully taking meds (I hate having to take prescriptions).

I carry these fears of having a terminal illness. I've been afraid of about this since I was a little girl and a friend my age died of cancer. Childhood can really put a wrench in how we view our own circustances. My bad experiances as a child have definitely masks many truths that God is good and does love me. I often see the fear and pain of what I think may happen, instead of believing that God is all knowing, fully good, and has marked me has his child.


Yes, this is a blah session, but I just feel like I need to throw all this stuff down. I have no idea if many people read anything I write or not, but man, if you read these notes, I and we (meaning Matt and Jess Ober) need prayer and any kind of support you can give.

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