Thursday, November 11

Expectations Land Softly

I'm at the point where papers are literally pilling up on my office desk and around my house. There are scarps of paper and fabric near my coffee table and tools laying about. My bed isn't made and the laundry is almost done and folded but not put away.  I haven't made a proper meal in the last four days (besides the recipe below and Matt's lunchs), but thankfully I have managed to keep the dishes done and the counter in the kitchen clean.  I've also managed to hang one set of curtains and wrangle Matt into hanging my knife rack (the magnetic kind).

I'm working at UPS (the pest place) part time for a while and Matt's working full time, gone for twelves hours each day (OHHHHH how I HATE commutes) and our car has been having problems so it takes my ENTIRE body to turn corners (Yay for the machanic who is fixing it tomorrow).

Meanwhile, we're also trying to be 100% into Community NW and we're beginning to think that we cannot have me working CNW and a P/T job for the long run, which is what we thought initially, but now we know.

Also, I've been feeling really thankful right now for my life, for the people in it, the sacredness of being here and being given the time on earth to learn about God and love others like Christ. Life is a gift, it is also a shadow. I must treat it tenderly and thoughfully, with a soft strength. (By the way, I've had a number of really deep thought provoking conversations lately which I'll hopefully be able to share when I'm not so piled up with things).

So right now I'm thankful for the little moments, for the tiny accomplishments. I'm not going to beat myself up for the things I haven't gotten done and I won't let anyone else beat me up. God isn't angry at me because I have a big mess at home - I've been frightfully busy doing the important things, with His help and timing, the rest of it will be taken care of too.

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