Tuesday, August 24
Monday, August 23
Tuesday, August 17
Missing Papa, Kyra, Jenn, and so many more
It's late and I'm tired and I should be in bed right now but I'm thinking about my friends and family in other parts of the country (or in other countries) who I haven't seen, some in months, some in years. And friends and family that I won't see until I die.
And it's hard.
Relationships are so hard for me sometimes. They all end, sometimes through geographical distance, some through emotional distance and some through death and the hard part, is no matter what, I know I don't stop loving that person. I don't know how. I think I do know how to block people out, to keep moving, to keep going forward. To live the life I'm supposed to live now, without those relationships, yet it doesn't make living without that person easier.
I've had seasons of my life when I believed having other people in my life wasn't necessary, that living with Christ was all I needed. While, it is true that Christ is truly all I need to feel whole, relationships here on earth have the opportunity to emulate who Christ is and what he did.
I think it is just that, the fact that true relationship is what we long for, that makes being separated from those we've love or those who love us so hard.
So, tonight, I'll be tired an worn, and I'm going to bed, I promise, but I cannot say I haven't shed some tears longing for the friendship and kinship of my friends and family who are not near.
I love you and I deeply miss you.
And it's hard.
Relationships are so hard for me sometimes. They all end, sometimes through geographical distance, some through emotional distance and some through death and the hard part, is no matter what, I know I don't stop loving that person. I don't know how. I think I do know how to block people out, to keep moving, to keep going forward. To live the life I'm supposed to live now, without those relationships, yet it doesn't make living without that person easier.
I've had seasons of my life when I believed having other people in my life wasn't necessary, that living with Christ was all I needed. While, it is true that Christ is truly all I need to feel whole, relationships here on earth have the opportunity to emulate who Christ is and what he did.
I think it is just that, the fact that true relationship is what we long for, that makes being separated from those we've love or those who love us so hard.
So, tonight, I'll be tired an worn, and I'm going to bed, I promise, but I cannot say I haven't shed some tears longing for the friendship and kinship of my friends and family who are not near.
I love you and I deeply miss you.
Monday, August 16
Future Cabin
This is the AWESOME cabin of a family in BC. They're cabin is so much like what I'd love Matt and I to have some day (but I think I'd like solar power from the get go).
They are featured in Apartment Therapy...here.
Thursday, August 12
New Side Bar Link!
This link for the DIY Diva is well, inspiring and amazing. At this point, with no walls, floors, or a place to tear apart of my own, I live vicariously through. Meanwhile, I know that my Mum will have me scraping, sanding and working my knuckles off at the home she's helping prepare for sale - so exciting to see transformations.
So, check out the Diva and all she's up to here.
So, check out the Diva and all she's up to here.
Wednesday, August 11
Tuesday, August 10
Monday, August 9
Some Positives
So along with all the difficult, frustrating and exhausting things like loosing my job and having a bacteria grab onto my chicken neck, I have been in the midst of some personal changes that are positive and make me feel good.
1. Eating way better than I have in a long time. Really. AND, I've even kept it up for about three weeks. I'm not killing myself over a small piece of candy, or a spoon of ice cream, but I'm not eating candy bars and bowls of ice cream (acutally, I rarely ate ice cream before...but you get my drift) and I've added a LOT of veggies and fruits. I feel good emotionally and physically. Yay.
2. I've been delving deeper into the Artist Way group I'm a part of and that is good.
3. I've been having some really good, difficult, painful, growing and maturing conversations with my husband.
4. I am realizing that there are certain things I need in life- probably because I'm weak and just cannot do it all on my own, so I'm beginning to let go and also speak up.
5. I'm writing down some of my goals.
6. I'm letting go of the over planner and being careful to allow time for me.
1. Eating way better than I have in a long time. Really. AND, I've even kept it up for about three weeks. I'm not killing myself over a small piece of candy, or a spoon of ice cream, but I'm not eating candy bars and bowls of ice cream (acutally, I rarely ate ice cream before...but you get my drift) and I've added a LOT of veggies and fruits. I feel good emotionally and physically. Yay.
2. I've been delving deeper into the Artist Way group I'm a part of and that is good.
3. I've been having some really good, difficult, painful, growing and maturing conversations with my husband.
4. I am realizing that there are certain things I need in life- probably because I'm weak and just cannot do it all on my own, so I'm beginning to let go and also speak up.
5. I'm writing down some of my goals.
6. I'm letting go of the over planner and being careful to allow time for me.
Friday, August 6
Today's Design Favorite
We're working on our own home-made chandelier from wine bottles, but this- this is beautiful. I LOVE IT! I found it at Kara Paslay Design.
Wednesday, August 4
Up From Here...?
This is my 100th post, not bad for 2+ years, not good either though. I'm hoping with the changes that are fastly approaching the forground of my life I'll have more opportunity to write and divulge within this online platform.
Right now, there is so much on my mind- from preparing to go to New Zealand at the end of August, my job ending also at the end of August, looking for a new job and seeking a place to live (both my husband and I are out of work), while at the same time hoping that the job I find is part time so I can devote more of my time to creativity, meals, budgeting, caring for the home and caring for my relationship with others, God and just caring for myself. Meanwhile, my husband has to make enough to bear the financial burden while we also scale back on our own cost of living- so many changes and so much hinging the choices we make.
All of those big things and I'm fighting a weird bacterial infection (I have a hard time talking about my physical ailments - I think primarily because that makes me feel sooooo FREAKING OLD!) In the last year I've had three identical rashes on my neck, talked with the dermatologist, they did a test and yep, some kind of funky bacteria. So I'm faithfully taking meds (I hate having to take prescriptions).
I carry these fears of having a terminal illness. I've been afraid of about this since I was a little girl and a friend my age died of cancer. Childhood can really put a wrench in how we view our own circustances. My bad experiances as a child have definitely masks many truths that God is good and does love me. I often see the fear and pain of what I think may happen, instead of believing that God is all knowing, fully good, and has marked me has his child.
BLAHHHHHHHH.
Yes, this is a blah session, but I just feel like I need to throw all this stuff down. I have no idea if many people read anything I write or not, but man, if you read these notes, I and we (meaning Matt and Jess Ober) need prayer and any kind of support you can give.
Right now, there is so much on my mind- from preparing to go to New Zealand at the end of August, my job ending also at the end of August, looking for a new job and seeking a place to live (both my husband and I are out of work), while at the same time hoping that the job I find is part time so I can devote more of my time to creativity, meals, budgeting, caring for the home and caring for my relationship with others, God and just caring for myself. Meanwhile, my husband has to make enough to bear the financial burden while we also scale back on our own cost of living- so many changes and so much hinging the choices we make.
All of those big things and I'm fighting a weird bacterial infection (I have a hard time talking about my physical ailments - I think primarily because that makes me feel sooooo FREAKING OLD!) In the last year I've had three identical rashes on my neck, talked with the dermatologist, they did a test and yep, some kind of funky bacteria. So I'm faithfully taking meds (I hate having to take prescriptions).
I carry these fears of having a terminal illness. I've been afraid of about this since I was a little girl and a friend my age died of cancer. Childhood can really put a wrench in how we view our own circustances. My bad experiances as a child have definitely masks many truths that God is good and does love me. I often see the fear and pain of what I think may happen, instead of believing that God is all knowing, fully good, and has marked me has his child.
BLAHHHHHHHH.
Yes, this is a blah session, but I just feel like I need to throw all this stuff down. I have no idea if many people read anything I write or not, but man, if you read these notes, I and we (meaning Matt and Jess Ober) need prayer and any kind of support you can give.
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