Nonsense

I spoke with Mr. Weller and he said there are two filters, a paper and a metal, wire one. I responded by letting him know that we will be receiving everything back and that it will be (as mentioned below) at least ten days.

Yesterday's Late Night Hide and Seek

I had just gone to brush my teeth, excited for the moment head hits pillow. Those few minutes with the brush, and The Fuzz quietly escaped by knocking out the window screen, slipping into the dark night.

I grabbed the food bucket and tried bravely wandering the complex screaming "Criiiiddddssss! Criiiiiddddsssss!" in the shrillest way possible (that's how I sound inside too) as I shook the bucket making the crunchers move around noisily and hoping not to wake the neighbors. All the while my untrusting side wondering what neighbor released the screen and snatched him up?! The mind can justify all sorts of strange things when something dear is at stake.

Just seconds away from smashing my head against the stucco exterior of our apartment building I heard one of the worst things I've ever heard, my cat was making the sound of an injured dinosaur (or so I imagined) leading me to his hidden position in the shadows, siting in the flower bed near the unit at the end of the building. Poor Fuzz all alone and looking incredibly disillusioned, want some crunchers?

Okay. Now, go inside.

Beautiful Rugs

This rug designer was just featured on Apartment Therapy and they deserve it. Check them out. Yes, I am drooling. Area rugs and hardwood floors evoke an emotional response in me like that of receiving a luscious kiss, eating fresh fruit dipped in chocolate or napping in a hammock in summer.

Sigh.

What I want

I want to start over. Get rid of everything besides my husband, our cat and our sweet coffee tables, desk and computer, the few things I truly love, and live in a small one bedroom or studio and save and find a new career and live the way I feel called.

That's what I want to do.

A Next Step

Matt and I are applying to be a part of a non-profit company (as mentioned in a few posts down) that ministers to residents within the complex of apartment living.

We (Art's Way Group) prayed about it last night, and I received a packet in my e-mail about the next steps of the application and it is a lot to process. In this packet are more details about the job description, what they expect of you and the specifics of what they mean by ministry.

As I read it I'm pondering whether there is any way I will be able to have a part-time job, pursue art, caring for the home and do this job too. I fear we won't have enough income if I stop working altogether. I believe that God will provide for us if this is His will, and we're trying to find that out by applying and pursing the ministry position, yet I've struggled with relying on God to provide money. I fear Matt's income won't suffice for our needs if we get this position. I also fear that if it looks like I need to work I'll be unhappy, overly stressed, unable to pursue the other things I believe God is asking me to cultivate and go bananas!

Plus, this role is all about intentionally creating relationships to share the gospel with others. The intentional part is not my strongest asset, because I'm an introvert, so meeting new people usually makes me close up instead of open up. I do enjoy organizing events and planning and administrative work, but I have no idea how to reach someone with different interests than me - especially within the sports realm.

So, let me speed up what I'm trying to say.

I'm overwhelmed.

Please, please, pray for Matt and I as we read through, weed through our own thoughts, concerns and fears, and pray through and fill out all this stuff.

I NEED U

Okay, so generally speaking, people who work out are usually happier, sleep better, have more energy, weigh less, have less health issues, AND have more fun between the sheets. I could have that with this body that moves and stretches and has muscles - and I'm supposed be greatful for all this by taking care of it- so why in the hell do I consistently post-pone exercising????

Work-out, let me be frank.

I need you. I need you to kick my butt. I need you to help me stay energized. I need you.

WORK OUT I NEED YOU. I NEED WORKING OUT.

Just like I need the dishes done and the bed made and my Bible and Journal time, I NEED MY WORK OUT.

I've been a mistress to my pillow and my work and my "oh I hurt", but workout I'm ready to be faithful.

Kick my butt okay?

And, please, please don't injure me in the process.

Prayer Request

Today, Matt and I are beginning our application to work with this ministry. Pray for us.

We feel led to do this for a variety of reasons, but when it all comes down to it, it must be God who opens the door. Pray for peace, no matter what the results of our knocking.

Itchy

It is 1:10 am and I'm sitting at my computer, so tired but unable to sleep because all parts of my body itch, I think it is a reaction to the Bactrim that a doctor prescribed for me when I went in with some folliculitis on my neck about a week ago.

Most of the rash is gone but my skin is crawling and I cannot sleep. Its so frustrating- I'd like to itch my skin right off. Tomorrow, no Bactrim.

I'm also wondering if perhaps, because I forgot to take it for two days straight, I am now having a worse reaction. I remember my skin kinda crawling the first time I took it, and I remember my muscles really cramping up. Who knows- I'm not a pharmacist- but I do know that I took a Bactrim shortly before bed at 10:30 and now it is past 1 am in the morning and I cannot sleep.

:*(

A Star Warrior

I'm sitting at the dining table at the home of a friend, a sister. The sun is trying hard to throw rays through the cloud covered sky while through the window I see chipmunks running happily through the beautiful garden, their small happy movements say thank you for our home. A bird alights on the Burgundy tree and its branch moves up and down by the weight of this small creature. I'm in my childhood town visiting my friend before she leaves on a 2 year mission with the Peace Corps. She's going to Swaziland to teach about HIV/AIDS, the country who has the highest rate of AIDS in Africa.

It'll be the longest time she's been gone from home and likely one of the most challenging, yet fulfilling experiences she'll have. Like marriage, having children, or changing careers she waits in unanswered anticipation because in two weeks everything will be different and there is only so much you can prepare. She has the gear and we've made sure the solar shower doesn't leak and the solar charger does charge, that she has enough clothes and enough toiletries to last for a few months. It is interesting because she knew she wanted to join the Peace Corps, but it was a surprise to her that Swaziland became an option.

I recently read that it isn't wrong to dream, and it isn't wrong to go for those dreams, but when you shake the apple tree do not be surprised if you receive oranges. Her life and experience certainly exposes this sweet truth (no pun intended). Indeed having known her for almost our whole life we've seen each other change. From the marine biologist photographer she's become a social worker, who loves caring for others, travel, and of course the expanse and adventure of the oceans waves- Swaziland is yet another step to her journey.

I think for me, when I see her journey, I see two specific things at play, choice and God's sovereignty. She's made choices based on things she loves and her own talents and God has opened the doors for her to make effective change, both with others and internally. My hope and my prayer to her, as she follows this path is first, that she may go, as Joseph did, with strength and courage into the land of the foreigners. Additionally, when times are difficult or hard, or both, she will know there is a purpose to her story.

Much love friend- blessings on your journey.

(If you want more information or wish to follow her story, click here)

Fuzzy Morning

I hate getting out of my warm, cozy bed knowing I have to leave the house for work(although…the company I work for is wonderful, as far as companies go…I just feel drained every day talking, talking, talking).

In the morning, 30 seconds to 5 minutes from when my alarm goes off my cat, Bombadil, jumps up and cuddles against me as I lay semi-conscious in bed. He loves lying on top of the covers, on top of my chest and it is comforting to hear his purring. He’ll stay there until I get out of bed. When I finally remove the warm covers and begin my morning routine he transitions from my bed to my shoulder and stays there until I put him down. It’s only when I turn around in the bathroom to start the shower that he leaves my side.

This morning, he put his soft, fuzzy head against my cheek and just kept it there while I gently stroked his neck, head and shoulders- he laid there content, happy and purring. I love it so much it almost hurts.

Lord, thank you for my fuzzy creature who gently loves me as I prepare for my 8-5.